Liberals, ride in my Ferrari!

By Katie Kieffer

Anti-business liberals, come jump in my Ferrari! I’ll take you for the ride of your life. Please bring your motion sickness bags. You will become nauseous during this ride.

Yes, it’s a nice car and, yes, I’m a good driver. But, when I drive, I blast one song over and over again: “Main Street Loves Wall Street.” You may be my guest, but I pick the tunes.

I know you really want to ride in my car – not because you like my politics – but because it’s such a hot car. It’s irresistible. But, be warned, this song is about how Wall Street is an unsung hero in America. I wrote it. I belt it. I bump it.

You still want to ride with me? OK. Fine. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you. And, whatever you do, please do NOT throw up on my upholstery or you’ll be sitting by the side of the road faster than you can say “Prius.”

Seat-belts everyone? We’re off! Time to sing along with me in my Ferrari!

Lyrics for “Main Street Loves Wall Street”

Hang on liberals, don’t pull out your hair

I hear Main Street’s got a thing for bulls and bears

Wall Street brings jobs to the working class

But bonuses restricted, tied up in stock, the white collars can’t afford

Doormen and waiters and taxi-drivers en masse

Fine restaurant owners are wringing their hands as they fail to reap

Profits from bankers who once splurged on $2K corks and high roller steaks

Wall Street gets beat up by politicians who invented Ben Nelson Bribery

While Wall Street keeps Main Street in business Monday through Friday

The public lacks sympathy for stressed workers at Jersey Ferrari

But that’s ’cause the media won’t tell us

How many supercar jobs are in peril when the shady Pay Czar is a-roaming

I’m tired of politicians messing with the markets and then blaming our bankers

Clinton-era policies set up real estate and finance pros for unscrupulous failure

Grow up, Washington

We’re losing top talent and jobs overseas thanks to your hatred for profit

Leave Wall Street alone

‘Cause things were better when Reagan let the free markets roam

Thanks for riding with me! Please join me again soon.

Ferrari images 1 and 2: Oliver Walston / lussoluxury.com

This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 3rd, 2010 at 7:00 am and is filed under Economy, Humor. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can trackback from your own site.